People Management
1:1s, feedback, performance, retention, and the daily work of leading engineers.
The first time I managed a manager
Managing engineers is about the work. Managing managers is about the people they manage, seen through a layer you do not get to remove. The habits that did not transfer, and the ones I had to build.
What I say in the first hour of a bad week
Layoffs on another team, a cancelled project, a production incident that made the news. The first hour decides how the team remembers the whole thing. Here is what I have learned to do with it.
The pipeline was never the problem
Every diverse team I have built came from changing how we interview and how we run the room, not from a sourcing initiative. What actually moved the numbers, and what did not.
What calibration is actually for
Performance reviews are where managers find out whether they have been honest all year. Calibration is where they find out whether the other managers have. How I prepare, what I argue for, and the review nobody should ever be surprised by.
Recognition that costs nothing and recognition that costs something
A thank you in the team channel and a promotion are both recognition, and confusing the two is how managers lose people. How I use each, and the mistake I made for years.
People do not leave for money as often as you think
Every resignation I have received had a reason underneath the reason. Here are the ones that actually showed up, what I could have done about them, and the retention conversation I now have before it is too late.
The meeting I should have called sooner
Two senior engineers, one design decision, and three weeks of polite comments that were actually a fight. What I learned about resolving conflict before it costs a quarter.
Growth is a scheduling problem
Engineers do not grow from feedback alone. They grow from work that is slightly too big for them, handed over on purpose. How I plan that, and what it costs the roadmap.
Your best engineer is the one you are most likely to lose
High performers do not need less management. They need a different kind, and most of them are getting none at all. What I do differently with the people who carry the team.
Low performance is a diagnosis, not a verdict
Most engineers I have managed through a performance problem were not bad engineers. They were in the wrong setup. How I tell the difference, what a real improvement plan looks like, and when to stop.
Feedback is a habit, not an event
The feedback that changes behavior is small, close to the moment, and boringly frequent. The feedback that damages people is saved up and delivered all at once. How I give it, and the sentence I use to start.
Trust is built in the boring weeks
Nobody trusts a manager because of a speech. They trust the manager who did what they said during the forty weeks when nothing was on fire. What that looks like in practice.
What my 1:1s are for
The weekly 1:1 is the only meeting I refuse to cancel. Here is what happens in mine, what I stopped doing, and the three questions I ask every engineer at least once a quarter.